5. Can A Narcissist Change? A Catholic Perspective on Healing and Boundaries
When dealing with narcissistic abuse, one of the most pressing questions survivors ask is: Can a narcissist change? If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, whether a spouse, family member, or close friend, you’ve likely held onto hope that they could recognize their behavior and transform. But is real change possible? In a recent episode of the Catholic Narcissist Recovery Podcast, Dr. Jameson Natwick, a Marriage and Family Therapist, provided clinical and spiritual insights into this difficult question.
💚 It’s time to step into freedom! Join our Catholic Narcissist Recovery Support Group: https://hello.catholicnarcissistrecovery.com/supportgroup
📌 Connect with Dr. Jameson: https://hello.catholicnarcissistrecovery.com/jameson
Understanding the Spectrum of Narcissism
One of the most important distinctions Dr. Natwick highlighted is that narcissism exists on a spectrum. While some people may exhibit narcissistic tendencies—such as seeking admiration or wanting to be perceived a certain way—others suffer from full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a deep-rooted and destructive condition.
The difference is critical. Those with narcissistic tendencies may still have some level of self-awareness and empathy, which makes growth and change more attainable. However, for those with NPD, change requires a long-term commitment to therapy and personal transformation, which is rare due to their deep-seated resistance to self-reflection and accountability.
The Role of Therapy and Free Will
From a psychological standpoint, change is possible, but it requires willingness. Dr. Natwick noted that no therapist can force someone to change—true transformation must come from within. This aligns with our Catholic understanding of free will: God invites us to healing and repentance, but He does not force us to change. The same applies to those with narcissistic traits. They must actively seek help, be open to feedback, and commit to deep, ongoing work.
Spiritual Change: Can God Heal a Narcissist?
As Catholics, we believe in God’s infinite grace and power to transform hearts. Even someone diagnosed with NPD is not beyond redemption if they truly desire change. However, one of the greatest obstacles to transformation is pride, which is at the core of narcissism. The Bible warns that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). True healing can only happen when the narcissist humbles themselves before God, acknowledging their faults and seeking His help.
Boundaries: The Role of the Survivor
For those in relationships with narcissists, it is crucial to set firm boundaries. Many survivors fall into the trap of enabling narcissistic behavior by tolerating manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. Dr. Natwick and I both emphasized the importance of standing firm and refusing to participate in unhealthy dynamics.
Setting boundaries is not an act of revenge—it is an act of love. It is a way of protecting yourself and also, potentially, forcing the narcissist to confront their own behavior. Sometimes, it is only through the consequences of losing relationships that a narcissist may begin to see their need for change.
Personal Testimony: Strength Through Christ
In the podcast episode, I shared a personal experience of setting a strong boundary with someone who had narcissistic tendencies. When this person crossed a line, I firmly communicated that I would not tolerate that behavior. As expected, their initial reaction was denial and blame-shifting. However, after five months of no contact, this individual unexpectedly came back with an apology. It was a powerful reminder that when we trust God and act with courage, He works behind the scenes in ways we cannot foresee.
The Long Road to Healing
Healing and change—whether in the narcissist or in ourselves—take time. As Dr. Natwick pointed out, we often want instant justice, instant recognition of wrongdoing, and instant transformation. But God’s way is often slower, calling us to patience and faith. If you are struggling in a relationship with a narcissist, know that you are not alone. Christ walks with you, and He will give you the wisdom and strength to navigate your journey.
Final Thoughts
While a narcissist can change, they must choose to. And while you cannot control their choices, you can choose to heal, set boundaries, and trust God’s plan for your life. If you’re struggling with these questions, bring them to prayer, seek support, and remember: God’s love will always guide you to truth and freedom.
For more insights and support, be sure to tune in to the Catholic Narcissist Recovery Podcast. Until next time, stay strong in faith and healing!
Have you had experiences dealing with a narcissist? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let's support one another on this journey of healing!
💚 It’s time to step into freedom! Join our Catholic Narcissist Recovery Support Group: https://hello.catholicnarcissistrecovery.com/supportgroup
📌 Connect with Dr. Jameson: https://hello.catholicnarcissistrecovery.com/jameson
