How to Surrender Narcissistic Abuse to God
What is the Surrender Novena?
The Surrender Novena comes from Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, a Servant of God. It is a powerful prayer that helps us to surrender ourselves completely to Jesus and trust in His divine providence. This is especially powerful when it comes to healing from narcissistic abuse because your entire world feels insane. It feels like everything has been a lie, and the pain of the problems can seem too big to figure out. Maybe you're going through the pains of ending a relationship with a narcissistic or realizing that you were abused and healing from the pains of it.
The central prayer of the Surrender Novena is "Gesù, pensaci tu" which translates to "Jesus, you take care of it." This prayer reminds us to let go of our worries and concerns and place them in the hands of Jesus.
When to pray the Surrender Novena?
The Surrender Novena can be prayed at any time and in any situation. It is especially helpful during times of uncertainty, when we feel overwhelmed, or when we are facing challenges and difficulties. By praying the Surrender Novena, we invite Jesus to take control of our lives and guide us according to His divine will.
Why pray the Surrender Novena?
Praying the Surrender Novena helps us to deepen our trust in Jesus and to let go of our need for control. It reminds us that Jesus is always with us, caring for us, and working for our good. He is in control and not the narcissist. God will heal us. By surrendering our worries and concerns to Him, we open ourselves up to His grace and allow Him to work miracles in our lives.
How to pray the Surrender Novena
Time needed: 5 minutes
Turn your eyes upon Jesus and pray for surrender for nine days. Start with the sign of the cross and each day pray the prayer below, listening and reflecting on what God is bringing up in your heart. It can be incredibly helpful to keep a journal and discuss this with your therapist, spiritual director, or seek support from our group here at Catholic Narc Recovery.
Day 1
Why do you confuse yourselves by worrying? Leave the care of your affairs to me and everything will be peaceful. I say to you in truth that every act of true, blind, complete surrender to me products the effect that you desire and resolves all difficult situations. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 2
Surrender to me does not mean to fret, to be upset, or to lose hope, nor does it mean offering to me a worried prayer asking me to follow you and change your worry into prayer. It is against this surrender, deeply against it, to worry, to be nervous and to desire to think about the consequence of anything.
It is like the confusion that children feel when they ask their mother to see their needs, and then try to take care of those needs for themselves so that their childlike efforts get in their mother’s way. Surrender means to placidly close the eyes of the soul, to turn away from thoughts of tribulation and to put yourself in my care, so that only I act, saying, “You take care of it. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 3
How many things I do when the soul, in so much spiritual and material need, turns to me, looks at me and says to me, “You take care of it,” then closes its eyes and rests. In pain you pray for me to act, but that I act in the way you want. You do not turn to me, instead, you want me to adapt your ideas. You are not sick people who ask the doctor how to. So do not act this way, but pray as I taught you in the Our Father: “Hallowed be thy Name,” that is, be glorified in my need. “Thy kingdom come,” that is, let all that is in us and in the world be in accord with your kingdom. “Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven,” that is, in our need, decide as you see fit for our temporal and eternal life. If you say to me truly: “Thy will be done,” which is the same as saying: “You take care of it,” I will intervene with all my omnipotence, and I will resolve the most difficult situations. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 4
You see evil growing instead of weakening? Do not worry. Close your eyes and say to me with faith: “Thy will be done, You take care of it.” I say to you that I will take care of it, and that I will intervene as does a doctor and I will accomplish miracles when they are needed. Do you see that the sick person is getting worse? Do not be upset, but close your eyes and say, “You take care of it.” I say to you that I will take care of it, and that there is no medicine more powerful than my loving intervention. By my love, I promise this to you. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 5
And then I must lead you on a path different from the one you see, I will prepare you; I will carry you in my arms; I will let you find yourself, like children who have fallen asleep in their mother’s arms, on the other bank of the river. What troubles you and hurts you immensely are you reason, your thoughts and worry, and your desire at all costs to deal with what afflicts you. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 6
You are sleepless; you want to judge everything, direct everything and see to everything and you surrender to human strength, or worse – to men themselves, trusting in their intervention – this is what hinders my words and my views. Oh, how much I wish from you this surrender, to help you; and how I suffer when I see you so agitated! Satan tries to do exactly this: to agitate you and to remove you from my protection and to throw you into the jaws of human initiative. So, trust only in me, rest in me, surrender to me in everything. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 7
I perform miracles in proportion to your full surrender to me and to your not thinking of yourselves. I sow treasure troves of graces when you are in deepest poverty. No person of reason, no thinker, has ever performed miracles, not even among the saints. He does divine works whosoever surrenders to God. So don’t think about it any more, because your mind is acute and for you it is very hard to see evil and to trust in me and to not think of yourself. Do this for all your needs, do this, all of you, and you will see great continual silent miracles. I will take care of things, I promise this to you. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 8
Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away on the flowing current of my grace; close your eyes and do not think of the present, turning your thoughts away from the future just as you would from temptation. Repose in me, believing in my goodness, and I promise you by my love that if you say, “You take care of it,” I will take care of it all; I will console you, liberate you and guide you. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Day 9
Pray always in readiness to surrender, and you will receive from it great peace and great rewards, even when I confer on you the grace of immolation, of repentance, and of love. Then what does suffering matter? It seems impossible to you? Close your eyes and say with all your soul, “Jesus, you take care of it.” Do not be afraid, I will take care of things and you will bless my name by humbling yourself. A thousand prayers cannot equal one single act of surrender, remember this well. There is no novena more effective than this. - Repeat 10 times: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Conclusion
Remember, the Surrender Novena is not a magic formula, but a way to open your heart to the love and care of Jesus. Trust in Him, surrender your worries, and allow Him to work miracles in your life.
