Strength in Weakness: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

In the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, we often feel depleted—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The wounds inflicted by manipulation, gaslighting, and control can leave us feeling powerless. But in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, St. Paul gives us a radical perspective on weakness:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

At first glance, this might seem counterintuitive—how can weakness make us strong? Yet, this scripture is one of the most powerful invitations to surrender and healing.

I Must Decrease, So He May Increase

One of the deepest wounds of narcissistic abuse is the loss of self-worth. We may have been taught that our value depended on meeting impossible expectations, pleasing others, or hiding our true selves. But St. Paul reminds us that we don’t have to carry the burden of strength alone—God’s power works through our surrender.

This is where the Litany of Humility becomes such a valuable prayer. It teaches us that we don’t have to be seen, praised, or admired to be loved by God. In fact, letting go of our need for validation opens space for Christ to work within us. When we stop striving to prove ourselves, we can rest in His sufficiency.

Strength Without Weakness: A Path to Pride

In the secular world, strength is often equated with control, power, and self-sufficiency. But when strength exists without an awareness of our dependence on God, it can become prideful—sometimes even narcissistic. True strength is not found in domination but in surrender.

Jesus Himself demonstrated this. Though He had all power, He chose humility, suffering, and dependence on the Father. His agony in the Garden of Gethsemane shows us that even He felt fear and distress—but He surrendered to the Father’s will. We are invited to do the same.

Grace is God’s Power Working Through Us

The words “My grace is sufficient for you” remind us that we are not left to battle on our own. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle with feeling responsible for other people’s emotions and actions. But God never asks us to carry that weight. Christ fights our battles for us.

When we feel overwhelmed, we don’t need to muster up more of our own strength—we simply need to ask for more grace. Grace sustains us. Grace empowers us to endure. With God’s grace, we can face difficulties without being crushed by them.

Endurance and Joy in Suffering

Healing is a journey of endurance, but with God’s grace, we can endure anything. This doesn’t mean we ignore our pain; rather, we bring it to Christ. Bishop Barron has a beautiful sermon on how we can still find joy, even in suffering. Joy is not about having an easy life—it’s about knowing we are held by God.

Another beautiful tool in surrendering is the Surrender Novena. This prayer reminds us that surrender is not about giving up; it’s about giving God access to heal and strengthen us. Admitting that we need help is one of the greatest acts of trust and humility.

Letting Mary Heal the Wounds

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, there may be deep wounds—especially wounds inflicted by a father figure or an authority figure. Mary, our gentle Mother, can help restore what was broken. She is a refuge for those who feel abandoned, unworthy, or unloved. By seeking her intercession, we can experience the tenderness and love we may have never received from others.

Vulnerability is Strength

Finally, St. Paul’s words remind us that vulnerability is not a weakness—it is true strength. The world may tell us that to be strong, we must be invulnerable, independent, and guarded. But Christ teaches us that true strength comes in surrender, in admitting our need for God, and in allowing His grace to work through us.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, know this: You are never alone. When you feel weak, that is exactly where God wants to meet you. And in His hands, your weakness will become your greatest strength.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to pray the Litany of Humility, reflect on the Surrender Novena, and ask for Mary’s intercession. You are held in His grace, and His grace is sufficient for you.