2. What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Introduction to the Podcast
Welcome to the Catholic Narc Recovery Podcast, where we help you reclaim your life after narcissistic abuse. Today, we are joined by our special guest, Dr. Jameson Natwick, an expert in trauma, identity, and meaning-making. Dr. Natwick holds a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy, is a licensed therapist in Washington State, and serves as a professor at Seattle University specializing in psychopathology, including personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological manipulation and control that stems from the traits of narcissism. While the term "narcissist" is often used casually in popular culture, it is a clinical pathology where an individual is excessively focused on themselves, often at the expense of others. Those in relationships with narcissists—whether romantic, familial, or professional—frequently experience manipulation, control, exploitation, and a lack of empathy from the narcissist. The relationship dynamic is often one-sided, with the narcissist prioritizing their own needs and desires above all else.
The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse
Dr. Natwick explains that narcissistic abuse follows a recognizable cycle:
Idealization – In the beginning, the narcissist showers their target with affection, attention, and admiration, creating a sense of deep connection and emotional intensity. This phase is often described as "magnetic" or "too good to be true."
Devaluation – Gradually, the narcissist begins to criticize, blame, and demean their target. Small justifications for their behavior may emerge, leading to confusion and self-doubt.
Discard – The narcissist emotionally or physically withdraws, making their target feel unworthy or inadequate. Harsh words, cruel dismissals, or complete neglect may occur.
Hoovering – After discarding their target, the narcissist often tries to pull them back in with apologies, promises of change, or rekindling the excitement of the idealization phase. This leads back to another cycle of abuse.
Recognizing this cycle is crucial for breaking free from toxic patterns and realizing that a healthy relationship does not require constant turmoil.
Forms of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse can take many forms, including:
Psychological and Emotional Abuse – Gaslighting, manipulation, silent treatment, and blame-shifting.
Financial Abuse – Controlling money, withholding financial support, or using wealth to dominate.
Spiritual Abuse – Twisting religious beliefs to justify control or to make the victim feel guilty.
Physical Abuse – In extreme cases, this can include intimidation, threats, or violence.
Dr. Natwick emphasizes that while narcissistic abuse may not always be physically violent, its psychological impact can be just as damaging. Many victims struggle with confusion, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of self-worth.
Key Characteristics of Narcissistic Abuse
Some telltale signs of narcissistic abuse include:
Lack of Empathy – The narcissist is unable or unwilling to see things from another person's perspective.
Need for Admiration – Constant need for validation and being seen as superior.
Domineering Behavior – Using control, intimidation, or anger to maintain power over others.
Gaslighting – Making the victim question their own memory, perception, or sanity.
Breaking Free and Finding Healing
If you recognize yourself in this pattern, know that freedom and healing are possible. Through faith, support, and professional guidance, you can break free from the cycle of abuse and reclaim your dignity and self-worth.
Closing Thoughts
Understanding narcissistic abuse is the first step toward healing. If you are struggling, reach out for support through therapy, prayer, and community. You are not alone, and God desires your healing and restoration.
